Modern Dilemmas Pillows

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

No Immediate Danger

"We don't talk anymore."

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

Indecision and Outrage Trays

"What can we do about this leadership course,,," "I don't know,what do you think" "Isn't there anyone we could ask"

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

"If we went to war, wouldn't God be on the spot?"

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

"Wasn't it your turn to drop him to online school?!"

'Bugger it, we're out of beer!'

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.

Bothers my conscience a little bit/May keep me up for a night or two/Am I really stooping this low?

Computers. Tablets. Laptops. The model is entirely voice-activated. I've always wanted to tell a computer "off."

'Darling, wake up, I've just realised ... we're not HD ready.'

Social network site runs into trouble.

"I'm running late for totally dignified reasons."

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

Angel and devil versions of a man prepare for a shoot out.

"I'm just saying you're not allowed to use your phone during class. You're not being de-platformed."

New Years Reolutions

'David, I want you tested for steroids.'

Signs left and right read: High tech/low tech.

'They're the angel of social conscience funds and his evil twin, greedy devil.'

"Nobody said it would be easy!"

'Would you knock it off with the 'woulda-coulda-shoulda'!'

"This is a Soul Card. We deduct a small monthly fee, and you get your looks back as long as there is a positive balance."

"Oh shit! What have I done? Undo key! Undo key!"

Jesus forgets to save.

"Maybe yes. Maybe no."

'I think your doctor gave you the wrong note, Sir. We don't have any bread and milk.'

When it came time for Phil to summon his better angels, he had a heck of a time figuring out which ones they were.

Tourist Crossroad

"Should we raise him to succeed by nurturing him, or neglect him so severely that he finds success as a megalomaniacal sociopath?"