Modern Dilemma Appreciator T-Shirts

"What can I do? I'm not cut out to be a hunter and I'm too lazy to be a gatherer!"

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

"If you want my opinion you're damned if you do and damned if you don't."

"Apparently, if you understand it, you don’t understand it."

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

''Adam and Eve'? -- then You're going ahead with the dualism idea?'

'Excellent napkin.'

'Darling, wake up, I've just realised ... we're not HD ready.'

Left and Right: Please be consistent.

A man's health care options.

"You cheated on the assignment and got an A? Glad to see you've learned a useful life skill."

'Some have a love life - I have a 'can't-stand-for-the-man-to-be-right' life.'

'I'm sure looking forward to relaxing when we get to the summit.'

"Law or Accountancy? What d'you want to do - make money or count money?"

"The good news is that you'll be immortalized in a world-famous painting. The bad news...your face is stuck like that for life!"

Tasting Zoo

It isn't about what's right or wrong, but choosing what's right for you. Therapy makes shopping way more difficult.

Pick a direction.

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

"That was Albert. He was at a demonstration against global warming and now he's in the hospital with frostbite."

'He's an abstract painter.'

'One medium curds-and-whey pizza for a Miss Muffet?'

"Can I overwhelm you with a menu?"

Maybe we never actually do anything because we keep calling for a show of hands.

'It wasn't an easy decision for me to make. Lots of coin tossing went into it.'

"You shouldn't be so afraid of the dentist."

Brain vs heart

Nude Descending a Staircase

Decision time again for Mr Greenspan.

"He was gold prospecting, but since he dropped his phone in the water, he's now phone prospecting."

"I don't care if you are the invisible man, sir, I can't let you in if you're not wearing a tie!"

Oh dear. The part that needs replacing has been discontinued because the huge demand for it kept the factory from making other parts.

Scenic Route.

'You're not a quitter... so I'm firing you.'

'He's terrified of heights.'