Modern-day Robinson Crusoe Gifts

'Hey, look!'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

On day twenty nine, Dave decided that he would start to cut his way through the dense forest to find out more about the north side of the island.

"Now you can send it."

"Right, I think I'll call it fire, now I just need to work out how to monetise it

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

Arabian island

"Let's just binge watch this."

"Something has corrupted my files again."

'And this model has plenty of space for all your electronics and a landing pad for your drone.'

"This is my urban man cave."

'And this is where they switched to High Definition.'

"My new boyfriend is free range!"

'He steals from the drug companies and gives to the elderly!'

'Good news, men, when we give to the poor now, it will qualify for federal matching funds.'

'We tried hunting and we tried gathering, but now we usually eat out.'

"Why did you become a crusader? You don't even go to church."

The First Power Point

Robinson le Creusot

'Rand and I decided to take our online relationship to a new level - real life.'

'Phew, now, where can i plug my mobile in?'

"There's money in there that could be used for other purposes."

"If you ask me between your stuff and my stuff, there's just nothing left to invent."

'I steal from the rich databases and give to the poor databases.'

"This could be our big break, Sam! She wants to file a class-action defamation-of-character lawsuit against any studio that ever made a film-noir movie, on behalf of femme fatales everywhere!"

"We steal gold from the rich and sell it to a metals broker. They make a prfit on their buy and sell spread and share a portion of that with us. Then, after the skimming and the rebates, we give to the poor."