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"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

On day twenty nine, Dave decided that he would start to cut his way through the dense forest to find out more about the north side of the island.

"You may now kiss the bride."

Tic-tac-toe

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

Shakespeare in the clink

Madoff and devil.

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

Wow. A corner office at last

Prison Romance.

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

Prisoner Crossing

Police Lineup Escape

"Little Timmy is big enough to use you burglary tools."

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

''Willie the Wizard' gets out next week -- get ready to change all the locks.'

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

"Everyone we know is escaping and you sit there doing nothing."

'Before you go to prison, Sims, I'd like to give you this award as 'Scapegoat of the Year'.'

'Try to think of it as early parole.'

'Sorry Vicar, Daddy can't come to the phone. He's doing porridge.'

"I got connections. We'll pull a few strings, get you out of here in no time"

'If you don't mnage to have enough sunshine you should eat more of oily fish, black caviare, eggs and butter.'

'-and which commandment did you break?'

'You're the one who called for a locksmith?'

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."