Modern-day Connectivity Skeptic Gifts

"What a nightmare...no signal!"

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

I.T. Fear

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

"Never mind the sea, does it get wi-fi?"

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Privacy

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Big Brother.

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"To 'click to enter' or not to 'click to enter'… that is the question."

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

"You can't believe everything the Russian bots tell you."

Down With Wikipedia

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

"Tarzan no want computer."

Diner is served