Modern-day Alchemist Pillows

"Dios mio! I can't believe they're selling this!"

Weird things I do because of the internet

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"Who can we call?"

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

'It's an experiment to stop time.'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

'Good - we're finally all on the same rampage.'

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

'The Algenist meets the Alchemist.'

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

'Think outside the seed.'

'Why Isaac Newton kept returning to alchemy...' 'There's just no money in gravity.'

Alcohol Ingredients

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

'Dang.'

"I was going to transmute it into gold, and then I read that the base metal market has made a remarkable recovery!"

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

"Garbage in, great books out."

"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"

"Since I've been using this organic stuff my potions are far more effective."

"After all these years, I'm sure of only one thing: when I heat the liquid, it boils."

'I sit here and solve mathematical problems, program electronic music, analyze architectral possibilities...but somehow being a Renaissance man isn't what it used to be.'

'Cartoonist thinking'

"He has a little place in the basement where he's trying to transmute amethysts into antibiotics."

"I was writing a novel based on the idea of a man suffering from déjà vu, until I realised it had been done before."

Everything he touches turns to bronze. King Midas' third cousin.

"Your immortality tonic may not be worth it, Sol."

'I'm trying to transmute lead into a combustible fuel that will produce no smoke.' 'Turning it into gold will be easier.'