Amateur Alchemist Pillows

"I heard they make glass from sand but I have no idea where to begin."

'Eye of newt and toe of frog, wool of bat and tongue of dog? Oh, stuff it - chuck a stock cube in.'

'You and Rags working together make great dinosaur finders.'

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

Reinventing the Wheel

'It's an experiment to stop time.'

For the last time, Bobby, I told you – every other person gets the red cup with the placebo. Lemonade 50¢.

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"The pH level seems a little off."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'Neighbors...friends...artists models.'

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

'This 'Palestine' place you're giving to us - Will we have the mineral rights?'

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

"When I was your age the Big Dipper was over THERE."

'If this elixir works, I see an over-the-counter version in three years.'

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

The inscription says: 'Whiter teeth; fresher breath.'

Pavlov's dog eats Schrodinger's cat.

'Why Isaac Newton kept returning to alchemy...' 'There's just no money in gravity.'

"No, first you have to evolve into a man, then you can have a man-cave."

"I was going to transmute it into gold, and then I read that the base metal market has made a remarkable recovery!"

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

Gracie tries to invent a shrinking spray and squirts Baldo with it.

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

An association for the advancement of science on an excursion.

Alcohol Ingredients

"Whoa, I guess dad and mom didn’t send Scraps off to live on a farm after all."

"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"

"Since I've been using this organic stuff my potions are far more effective."