Modern Critic Mugs

"Great flash mob, isn't it?"

'No job, no home, less than 30 Facebook friends. Please help!'

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"That newspaper has been showing up ever since you started reading the news online. I think it feels betrayed."

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

"Tarzan no want computer."

Down With Wikipedia

Early Man Late Man

Daily Routine

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"AI designed my statue."

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

Boy copying abstract artwork in an art gallery.

Man calling Phone Privacy Centre

"You do understand that I can only offer you a zero hour contract?"

'Doing this with his e-mails made more impact than sending them.'

Clever youth stating that he considers Shakespeare overrated

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

Pfft! I could do that.

"I lied in my ad. I hate Wallace Stevens."

"Have you noticed how blatant sex is everywhere in the culture but here?"

"Kids today are so blasé. Her first word was 'meh' instead of mommy."

Medical Bracelet

"I medicate first and ask questions later."

A beach has meters.

"Power! Power!"

"A brand new one will cost you $18. If I repair it the cost would be $397."

"I wish that they would give omg a break. JMJ (Jesus,Mary and Joseph) have a lot more free time."

"I forgot to call in dead."

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

'And you can no longer talk to people face to face!'