Modern Celebrant Gifts

Christmas cracker goes 'ping' instead of 'bang'.

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

Congratulations!

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Louisiana Mask Mandate

Year of the Rat

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

'If there was one thing Methusela hated. It was his Birthday bumps.

Two men toasting

Festivus poles

TV and man

"I'm the designated driver."

"You're not supposed to throw tinned rice!"

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

'That does it! I've had it with that nincompoop! Every time there's a birthday, he's the first to sign the card and he never leaves room for anyone else!'

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

The Big Bad Wolf Turns 50.

The wedding.

Two grooms cutting a civil union cake...

'Tell me, Sadie -just how many times is it now that we have been gathered here today?'

Man holding a birthday cake.

We're making progress, but it's still too early to be breaking out the party hats and noise-makers.

Lady Justice eats birthday cake

"All I know is that some of the best Christmas presents I've ever gotten have come from secular humanists."

All my gifts come from Amazon anyway, so instead of asking Santa, I'm asking Alexa.

"I pronounce you husband and wife of opposite sexes."

Ballet Birthday

St David's Day

Cinco de Mayo notwithstanding, drinking from the toilet was still prohibited in the Ramirez house.

Black Velvet.