Modern Celebrant Gifts

Christmas cracker goes 'ping' instead of 'bang'.

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

"We must rise up and claim our rightful place at the table of society! We must never rest until we are given the respect and dignity we deserve! Chica power!"

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

Congratulations!

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Louisiana Mask Mandate

Year of the Rat

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

'If there was one thing Methusela hated. It was his Birthday bumps.

TV and man

"I'm the designated driver."

Two men toasting

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

Festivus poles

"You're not supposed to throw tinned rice!"

'That does it! I've had it with that nincompoop! Every time there's a birthday, he's the first to sign the card and he never leaves room for anyone else!'

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

The Big Bad Wolf Turns 50.

Two grooms cutting a civil union cake...

'Tell me, Sadie -just how many times is it now that we have been gathered here today?'

The wedding.

Man holding a birthday cake.

We're making progress, but it's still too early to be breaking out the party hats and noise-makers.

Lady Justice eats birthday cake

"All I know is that some of the best Christmas presents I've ever gotten have come from secular humanists."

St David's Day

Black Velvet.

Cinco de Mayo notwithstanding, drinking from the toilet was still prohibited in the Ramirez house.

"I pronounce you husband and wife of opposite sexes."

Thrilled with his new driver, Mark simply couldn't wait to get to the range to try it out.

Ballet Birthday