Modern Bureaucrat Gifts

Blame me for all your income tax mistakes!

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'Let's not go by the book.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Storm in the out tray

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Quality Control

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

Time for More Paperwork

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'