Modern Appliance Admirer Gifts

Automatic Dishwasher.

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"I'd like to toast our guests."

Roasted

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

Entertainment systems

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"My compliments to the can opener."

'Isn't it great? It gives us four times the storage space as a regular fridge!'

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"And this dashboard has all the electronic distractions grouped into one convenient confusion cluster."

Microwave. Do you have any idea of the time pressure I'm under?

"To toast!"

"Does it come with magnets?"

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

Castle drawbridge opens to reveal a dishwasher

"That is why you don't put 'instant rice' in a slow cooker."

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

How the cords get all tangles up when you're away.

"Unfortunately, our user-friendly toaster is warranty-unfriendly!"

When it came to appliance repairs...Joe wasn't one to mince his words!

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.