Mockery Master T-Shirts

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"You want to know what kind of criticism of Israeli politics I consider anti-semitic?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

So you're a mocking bird...

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

Moo Out Loud

'I didn't tell you to 'be quite Frank'. I said,'be quiet, Frank'!'

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"...Any more of that fowl language and you're barred!"

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"Fellow graduates, when I look at you, I see future princesses, ninjas, wizards, superheroes, and zombies."

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

Custard pie ejects from book - 'How to be a clown'

'She must be good at mixing cement - She's been making rock cakes for years.'

Buzzfeed does The Bible: 10 commandments that will blow your mind.

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

"There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. Lol. Winky face."

"Apparently Wilbur hasn't gotten that raise. He's still hamming it up for the boss."

21st Century Malaise-Attention-Seeking-Disorder

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

'Always the wise guy.'

'Well, according to this website, the internet no longer exists!'

Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough...

"'Ere, mate - you look like a right muppett..!"

"Any missed assignments can be excused only with a note from your internet service provider."

Dog Dreams

"I'd like a trigger warning."

"He's surprisingly sensitive about heckling."