Mobility Scooter Maven Gifts

Old lady's mobility scooter has six stickers on the side of pedestrian victims.

Ice skater

Lego Haircut

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

Bleak House

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

Doubling Gloucester Cheeses

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

Dance Studio: Ballroom, Latin, Line Dancing, Rain Dancing

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

"The SUV scooter. For those who don't have the energy, yet still feel the need to waste it."

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

'This is weird - there's a thin person inside me, TEXTING to get out.'

Running in please pass

"And then they came out with a desktop model."

'I made a list of bikes I want to look at today. You may want to eat before we go, as this may take awhile.'

'Pss-st, Harley-Davidson is up one-and-a-quarter...pass it on.'

Mobility scooter driver has stickers for all pedestrians he's knocked over.

Racing car drivers on their phones.

Napa, Bellevue, McLeon

It was the Tube logo what gave me the idea

"It's a new travel computer. It fits in your pocket. I suggest bringing your reading glasses."

Lightbulb Maker

"Fix it so it'll stream out behind, Pierre. I've been assigned to a motorcycle detail."

Pensioner on a mobility scooter who leaves run over pedestrians in his wake has a sign reading 'How's my driving?'

'OBSOLETE: Any really expensive Heating & Air Conditioning system you bought last year.'

"Trigger Warning."

"Faux wood grain towel dispensers, matching toilet plunbers, herb scented urinal cakes, where's it all end, Stan?"

Mobility scooter hitman.

No Scooter Joy Riding!

'Someday, I'm sure there will be a smaller, more mobile version.'