Mixed Martial Arts Pillows

Two champagne bottles fight in a headlock

UFC on steroids...

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Overjumpers

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"Hi-yah!"

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"Ninja bread men"

Women's Martial Arts Center

"Full disclosure—I really need this hug."

'Remember me?'

'You may now kick the bride.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

Mod Kwan Doh

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

KAWAII T'AI CHI

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Martial Arts

Old Karate Master

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

Decapitated coffee.

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

'I can remember when no one had even heard of t'ai chi.'

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

The Karate Kitten.