Misunderstanding Masters T-Shirts

'Covid airborne'.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

"I accidentally shredded an important document, so I'm trying to piece it back together. It should only take a few years."

'I didn't want to get the napkin messy.'

'The best way to protect your privacy is through a flood of misinformation obscuring the truth.'

'I hate to tell you... it's not 'amber waves of gain'.'

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

Art Museum: Our exhibit of forgotten masters continues with What's His Name...

"I asked you to hang a picture, how much more difficult can you make it?"

Clancy: Around here we call that progress!

'It hasn't been a complete failure - we've learned volumes about falling.'

"I learned that Moses partied on the Red Sea today."

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

'I'm afraid you've got the wrong department.'

"No...I said aperitif!!"

Is clutter necessary?

'Mrs. Peterson. . . Sgt. O'Leary here, I'm afraid there's been an accident and your husband is in a comma.'

'I feel awful. Coach was clutching his throat and turning blue, but I thought it was the 'bunt' sign.'

'...and then, when I asked if I could see her home, she showed me a photograph of her house.'

"My audio is okay, but my video is kind of sore"

'I sincerely thank you for your concern, but I'm only setting up a swing.'

Naive to its unconventional approach, Wyatt is victimized by the rare and elusive Mumble Bee.

'You idiot, I said 'ark', not 'park'.'

'More dirt=more bubbles!'

'I'm not untidy! I know where I have to look for the things I need! My socks are under the livingroom table, my underpants are behind the couch, the shoes are in the bathroom...'

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect the glasses?'

'You misunderstood. Our ad says that we can help you get out of debt.'

'He must be pleased with me. He's wagging his finger.'