Mismatch Moments Gifts

'Let's go back to your place. I want to put all your CD's into the wrong cases.'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

"Stress is often associated with feelings of 'isolation'...It's really important that you see yourself as valued, as useful!"

Alligator Bars

'It's every SNOW flake that's different, Billy - Not every CORN flake.'

'Out. How come?' - 'Off side.'

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

"Looks like there was a mix-up. Apparently the tank we ordered went to Vinny's Joke Shop in Hoboken, New Jersey."

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

"Wait? I thought it was a 'look'?"

'Painter'

"Aw yeah, twist on the exhale! Twist on the exhale! Yeah yeah!!"

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

"But can you afford two tickets to Africa?"

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

'I'm a court jester -- my socks aren't supposed to match!'

'What the... I told the dating agency to send serious candidates only!!'

"He began his career as an interior house painter, and stuck with the tools he was comfortable with."

The Origin of Laundry Day

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

Never let your girlfriend pack your parachute.

"What a time for it to go on the bunk!"

Unsuitable hospital reading material.

I'm a 10.5. What, litres?

"Sold, to the gentleman with the paddle."

'When I asked to go somewhere nice and warm, I didn't mean inside your trendy jumper.'

One day in a boat out in the pacific. . . While at the same exact moment in a slum apartment in Brooklyn, N.Y....

"The odd thing is that I'm not really a cat person."

"A MacArthur, the lecture circuit, and thou!"

"On the internet you said you were tall."