Misinterpreted Offer Explorer Mugs

'- but I didn't think it meant a two-made-into one-suit, dammit!'

"You're fired."

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

Carrot VS Stick

Assault weapons go over the cliff.

I don't know if neuronal stem cells can or cannot become blood cells but one thing is for sure, neuronal stem cells can become controversial.

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

"And for a left-handed designated hitter and a player to be named later, Mr. Steinbrenner would gladly fly Elián home."

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

"Spirit! Are you a chatbot?"

"Let's welcome our new member, Bob!" "You, too!" "'You, too'? Idiot!"

"All I get is a bird's eye view."

Myths and Other Urban Legends

'Good evening sir.Just wondering if you'd like to sample Night-Mart's new range of A-positive.'

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

"You've been vital to our great year. Your bonus is whatever you can carry out by midnight."

'How am I doing?'

This wasn't quite the fairytale ending Colin had anticipated.

'Next time, spring for a little more, and get a GOOD GPS'

Antiques dealer and customer

Devil paints God.

"This is not Easter Island. My boat sank before getting there."

"...To sum up, then, everything is illusory - Do you guys have any questions?"

'I've never felt so alive...'

'And if you think it isn't yours I'll see you at the DNA testing!'

"It was buried only last month, but we couldn't wait."

"You're gonna love this place."