Misery Lit Admirer Pillows

Misery Lit next to a Samaritans hotline.

Comedy and tragedy masks

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"Hamlet. By William Shakespeare." Painting.

Marriage a la Mode - Death of the Earl.

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"We can't take breaks, but lunch is provided."

"I'd say hi to my favorite teacher, but I think she's enjoying some quiet remote-from-us learning."

"A little office... no windows... with a door... heavenly!"

"Sorry, Boss, I thought you wanted me to make it look like an accident."

"Some day, son, all these aches and pains will be yours."

Waiting for the end of the acid-rain delay at the ballpark in the year 2258...

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

Tosca

"This coffee seems a little staler every morning, Edwina!"

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

101 uses of a dead cat: weights

"This ain't no trick or treat, mister, this is a stick-up! Give me your cash, credit cards, jewelry...and that candy bar!"

'You know how they say, no matter how bad you got it, there's always someone worse off? Well I'm that someone.'

"Thank goodness! I thought that day would never end!"

'Are we expecting a fleet of super-size handcarts?'

"I'm beginning to think he doesn't want to go back to civilization."

"So what brings you to this godforsaken end of the bar?"

'Hell? No. We're just the side effects of your new drugs.'

Dracula uses a borrowed coffin.

"I hope you're not a lawyer or a politician. We're trying to diversify down here."

'I'm sorry - I'm just so easily bored.'

'I have no idea how this story about me wearing Prada got started.'

'What a lousy day! The computer, the car, and my stock portfolio all crashed.'

Young widow popular at the graveyard

My client is a simple man with simple needs, your honor. He was driven to embezzlement by his avaricious wife's expensive lifestyle. By rights, she should be in jail, not him. I'd suggest this to the district attorney, except for the fact that she and I are currently dating. Speaking of which, could you lend me a hundred bucks?

"I'm awarding a million bucks for any school, park or high-IQ child named after me."

London looting.

The Quack Quack Diaries - Quack Quack Gets Possessed

Coming soon, Edwin Blurdge!