Miserly Renovator Pillows

"That'll teach you for buying cheap paintbrushes!!"

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!

House Painter gets stuck to the ceiling.

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

"What ever happened with that old shack you bought in the woods? You were going to rehab and flip it."

Homes for sale - some assembly required.

"We're thinking Shag Carpet. I'm tired of hardwood floors."

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

Do it yourself -- get someone else to do it -- get son to do it -- pay -- don't bother doing it -- move house

DIY Disaster.

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'I love doing surprise inspections.'

Sundayafternoon Carpenters

DIY store with a first aid department

'Probably left here my the decorators, as I was saying, the roof is watertight.'

Heaven - under new management.

"It's a quote from the builder, he's wanting £900 just to come around and sneer at us!"

"What a rip-off."

' ...so we decided to put in our own flood protection scheme.'

' I hope this adds a little enjoyment for you. '

Travel Agents

Ladder Painting

Ceiling collapse 'Don't worry, that's just settlement.'

'For sale - some assembly required.'

"He's making a retirement statement - he's burning all his DIY books."

'I just love what you've done with the kitty litter box.'

Pulling a Sickie.

'I'd like to buy my wife a nose job.'

'I know we're living under a park bench. Where is it written you can't put a roof on it.'

Wretched Filth/Wretched Filth with Disco Ball

"Just light the wick and you have a paint that's 'xtremely easy to apply!"

'I can't believe you've finished the whole room already. You're the quickets painter and decorator I've ever had.'