Miscommunication Explorer T-Shirts

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

"The key is to keep the momentum going when you're establishing the base of the snowman..."

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

'Not scream, you morons! I said screen pass! Set up a screen pass!'

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

Public Meetings: 'If you check the guide it's clear that you only need to say 'chair'.'

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

Shoot...not literally, of course.

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

Dyslexic Doomsayers.

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

"...But I don't want to get in the back Norma, I want to stay in the front with you"

'I did not call you a 'bar fly'! I said; 'I'll be back, briefly'.'

"My mistake Guvnor - I thought you said CRAP circles!"

'I said Mascarpone not Mask A Pony!'

"I'm not sure you see my point of view..." "From down here I'd say that's probably true!"

'Oh, your mouth is saying 'Bow wow', Dolores, but your eyes are saying 'Woof'!'

"You said you wanted an Easter-related present."

"Honey, I got a brand-new bow for our car!"