Mischievous Van Gogh T-Shirts

'Fine, I'll go to my room, but one day when I'm a famous artist you'll be telling this story as an amusing anecdote!'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

Recombinant DNA Lab. I'm crossing a pine tree, pumpkin and bunny --- You can use it for three holidays!

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"Okay, you play dead. 1-2-3 Go!"

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

Monkey Business

'Can't you just bat them between your paws like everyone else?'

"You've been a very bad man and we like that. So now, we're going to send you to London."

'This isn't the first time you've been here---- is it ?'

'Looks like a chipmonk.'

Killing Santa

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

How to avoid a heart attack.

Children playing in a library

Buster got religion in the pound and now works with other bad dogs.

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

'Cut it out!'

'Good morning, Vicar - are you decent?'

A planet like ours - "...you know I'm just playing with you before I kill you don't you?"

HisssssHerssss....

Last week revisited. Uncle Mort, want to come over to my place for Thanksgiving? Can't. Sadie and I are having it at her place. How nice of you. What? I'd love to. What can I bring? Beautifully played, no? She'll kill me. I'd love to. How nice.

"When I run away, put my picture on t-shirts instead of milk cartons."

"Thanks for bringing the party mix, but. . ."

Bird draws a snake.

'We bought it as a bonsai tree!'

"He really likes to play with the mice before he kills them"

'Must we invite the Hendersons? Their children never stop swarming ...'

Leaving pet shop, boy says to puppy: 'You're my bitch now.'

'You and your shortcuts.'

"If you want soil moved around, I say why wait for erosion."

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?' 'Why can't it be both?'

'Believe me -- you don't want to know what I did on my summer vacation.'