Mischievous Mammaphile Pillows

'I don't think there's anyone home...Or am I just being naive?...'

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

A thief steals a heart

"After she ran that clip of me getting a bath,... I posted this one of her stepping out of the shower."

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

'Yep. I used to use chemical to strip wallpaper, but the cats are more efficient, and there's no nasty smell.'

Misery lit...

'We were mud wrestling.'

Law Books

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

'Cut it out!'

"Hey! What's all this white stuff? Let's try the front door."

Cat lights rocket strapped to a dog

'Good morning, Vicar - are you decent?'

"Tuna and chicken bone breakfast smoothie. We were going to surprise you."

'A large hole has appeared in the wall of the nudist camp - Police are looking into it.'

'Moral of the story? Oh, son, we don't have those.'

I'm really proud of him, he's just got his first 'dogbo'...

'Mm,,,warm laundry'

'I told you not to argue with the ref, Dewey.'

"Airplane Mode doesn't work. I threw your phone out the window and it didn't fly."

The Devil's Advocat

'Maybe she has allergies.'

'Sorry God, I think you got the wrong guy, I like sex, drugs and rock and roll.'

That's Right - 100% Guaranteed

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

She was to regret having asked Colin to be more of an animal in bed.

CATS BEHAVING BADLY - cats are watching this tv programme on a badly-scratched sofa

Thoughtful Dog

'Psst - we're looking for material that's totally inappropriate for our age. Can you help us out?'

"Look. Jerome. Unless you want me to crap on the bed I'd suggest you practice your sand wedge outside."

'I wish my husband was really hot.'

'What did we say about body language?'

'The important thing to remember is we must forget this ever happened.'