Mischief Maestros Pillows

"Hey feet off the table"

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Mittens is challenged by the string.

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

'okay...where did you hide it?'

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

Dogs life

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

"Thank God you're home. Someone crapped on the carpet again."

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

Two children play with a pedal bin

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

'The part I love is when they come home and say 'WHO did this?. . .'

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

"No Joke! I taught my dog to fetch coffee."

The day Bob finally understood radiation of species.

Photobooth Photobomb

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

"While you were out, the staff whittled away your desk into a totem pole."