Mirror Selfie Champ Pillows

'I wish my wife wouldn't phone to call me egotistical when I'm taking a selfie.'

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

Superheroes take a selfie

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

The Selfie

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

Sistine Selfie

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

"Influence this."

Modern Narcissism

"These kids and their shellfies..."

Book Worm

Selfie of the Golden Hinde

"There was a time when I used to instil absolute terror into everybody..."

The quarantine self cut.

"Remember when they just used to write the train numbers down?"

"Say Gorgon-zola!"

'You know, it isn't the mother's texting while delivering that bothers, it's those damn selfies they upload to Facebook.

"Sorry, no narcissists allowed."

"I'm diagnosing selfie-steem issues."

21st Century Malaise-Attention-Seeking-Disorder

"I was going to tell them to take a silly faces photo next, but I don't think I'll bother."

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

"That's in case Mum skypes me."

"Dad, you don't understand...I can't get my hair cut just anywhere! This is for school pictures! My hair needs to be perfect!"

Social Influencers Anonymous.

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

"I'm just gonna reach in my pocket real slowly, get my phone and take a few selfies with you guys. Cool?"