Mirror Selfie Champ Pillows

'I wish my wife wouldn't phone to call me egotistical when I'm taking a selfie.'

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

Superheroes take a selfie

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

The Selfie

The Modern Novel.

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

Sistine Selfie

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

"Influence this."

Modern Narcissism

Selfie of the Golden Hinde

How do I love me? Let me count the ways. Ok. You have 18,523 selfies.

Book Worm

"There was a time when I used to instil absolute terror into everybody..."

"These kids and their shellfies..."

The quarantine self cut.

21st Century Malaise-Attention-Seeking-Disorder

"I was going to tell them to take a silly faces photo next, but I don't think I'll bother."

"I'm diagnosing selfie-steem issues."

"Another selfie, Rembrandt?"

"Say Gorgon-zola!"

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

'You know, it isn't the mother's texting while delivering that bothers, it's those damn selfies they upload to Facebook.

"Remember when they just used to write the train numbers down?"

"Sorry, no narcissists allowed."

"That's in case Mum skypes me."

Self checkout and 'selfie' check out at a store.

"I'm just gonna reach in my pocket real slowly, get my phone and take a few selfies with you guys. Cool?"

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.