Miniature Navy Commander T-Shirts

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

Remote control pirate bully

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

'Just in case there is an accident.'

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

"I've always wanted to live on a lake so I can go boating and fishing. Since we don't live on a lake, I thought I'd make my own."

A spa bath at Mapledurham.

Remote Control Pirate Ship.

Admiral in the bath.

"Sorry, Captain, but we have to let you go. You just lack leader-ship skills."

Your Country Needs MOO!

A man working on a model airplane

'Bill, I like the way you handle responsibility so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"Sometimes I think the captain doesn't appreciate the seriousness of military maneuvers."

Two children in a park; one playing with an R/C sailboat and the other playing with a drone

'This is my toughest soldier -- He's been through Mom's vacuum cleaner eight times!'

"Well, I did say we'd be taking boat out."

Toy soldiers - War on drugs, War on binge drinking, Combat obesity, etc.

Soap Recovery Ship

"I'm too old to chase prey, so my trick is to start painting miniatures. Natural curiosity takes over and they come closer to have a look: voila!"

Small boy: 'Now then! All together!'

'His heels are ruining this deck !'

'...I told you that you can't christen a toy boat!'

Alexander Hopson - retired submarine commanding officer.

'I don't know Melissa, you said a bb gun was more dangerous!'

'The flight is delayed a bit due to increased security measures.'

'Oh look! He's radically restructuring his toy soldiers.'

To Captain John - Top Secret....For your Aye Only.

"Can you withdraw your troops to the box in your bedroom?"

"When I lost my rifle, the army charged me £1000."

Foosball game with real life players.

Little boy ties his pet dog to a model railway track.