Mini Medical Professional Gifts

Junior doctor kits.

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

A midwife holding a baby

Ice Cream Surgeon

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

'Take two tootsie rolls and call me in the morning.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"Right, before we look at the covid figures for today, do we need another sheet of paper?"

"My blood pressure stays fine, Doctor, as long as nothing comes between me and my fishing."

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"WHich one is mine?"

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."

'My serotonin levels have maxed-out, my brain is awash in glucocoriticoids and, if it weren't for my leveling endogenous opiates, I'd float out that window!'

"Say 'eh.'"

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'