Mini Hygiene Manager Pillows

'I must be growing up. I took a bath without being told to.'

"He likes it."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"I had to skip my workout."

Why would birdie need newspaper?

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"He's got SUCH greasy hair, and dandruff like you wouldn't believe!"

'...and this is the Mess.'

"That's the last time I invite the boys round..."

I'd like to request a transfer to a household offering a higher allowance and fewer choices.

Unpopular Kids on Show and Tell Day.

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

Savoy Dental Salon

"You give Sticky Keys a new meaning."

"It was my imaginary friend Gravity."

Kid sweeps dirt under his junk on the floor.

"Dude, you gotta get out here and clean this pool more often."

Happy Birthday MUM!

'I know this is a spit and sawdust place, but why is it in the beer?'

"After viewing the video footage, it wasn't the dog making the mess, after all..."

"It's not gravy. Your French Fries fell on the floor."

'I did my part of house cleaning, now it's your time...it's shovel ready'

"What's this on the menu?"

'I assume this comes with performance based bonuses and a superannuation package?'

'With a boss, a wife and three teenaged kids, I haven't had much time to worry about international affairs.'

"My kid gives new meaning to the term 'deep pile carpet'."

'I didn't get it all done in a day.'

"Philip has questioned my stewardship."