Mine Safety Specialist Gifts

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Crash Test Dummy Blues

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

"Seriously Dad, it totally wasn't my fault."

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

'... and make it look like an accident.'

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

Mine problems

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

"Bob put a chair with wheels on the table and climbed up to change a light bulb. Then the chair rolled away, Bob fell and... well, I guess we need a new industrial safety specialist."

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

"I think he may have progressed beyond just digging holes!!"

"Don't worry. The building is earthquake proof, but unfortunately we haven't solved the

"Al could you unpack these mining issues for us whilst Joel drills down to get some detail on the parcel problem."

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

"Yeah, work is tough, but nothing compared to coming home and stepping on one of the kids' legos."

"Gentlemen, we are going to have to think outside the bauxite."

'Never thought I'd see you again - you really must have nine lives.'

Male Crash-test Dummy: 'So...would you like to go for a crash in my car?'

Crash Test Dummy's Running Machine

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

'I'd think twice before picking c-4.'

'Go ahead and dig, you said! what are the odds there's a pipe right there, you said!'

Load explodes on impact.

'So, Bill! What do you think my chances are of moving into supervisory position?'

Hazardous Wastes R Us.

'Actually,I AM a god digger. I owna mine in South Africa.'

Wall.

Fire Sprinkler Manufacturing

"You'd think they'd at least offer health insurance with this job."

"All I said was that for health and safety reasons they'd have to leave their phones switched off!"

This place is crawling with backstabbers, but they don't worry me.

'You call yourself a steering committee?!'