Mind Enhancer Gifts

Institute (brain).

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

The Map of the human brain

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

Sigmund Freud.

Unguided imagery

"If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be?" "I’d totally wish to have my brain put into a robot body." "That way I could live forever. Imagine living long enough to buy an iPhone 7000." "Wrong answer. An alpha male never lets on that he’s concerned about his mortality. Your answer should have been 'nothing.'" "The alpha male or female is not afraid of death, little buddy." "I think I’d rather wait for the 7000–S." "Stop it."

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

"Have you tried just giving your head a shake?"

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

Ego Increasing School

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

'I'm exhausted from too much enlightened skepticism, fresh perceptive thinking, intellectual challenges and independent ideas. What I need is some simple cliche living!'

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

'There is nothing physically wrong. It needs a psychiatrist.'

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

"Don't step on the blacks or the nasty bogie man will get you!"

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

Confirmation Bias

'Relax, it's purely a seasonally affected disorder.'

"'Cogito, ergo sum' is all very well for you, but what about me?"

'You get into arguments even when you talk to yourself ?'

"So. Mr Smith, what makes you think you are too controlling?"

Psychiatrist's diplomas: Guessing and Wishful Thinking.

'Shh, wait! -- I'm getting an astral message from Sigmund Freud!'

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

"Someone has stolen my identity crisis."

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

"How should I know what I'm thinking? I'm not a mind reader."

'Let's see, here we have the first results from of the brain scanner...'