Milk T-Shirts

'Lazy,'

'I had a tough childhood. I was abandoned on a doorstep.'

Where Skim Milk comes from.

'I think you'll enjoy this, Master James... it's sassy but bovine.'

'Is this milk fresh?' - 'An hour ago it was grass.'

"I want to have a relationship, but can't figure out what to do to make myself an attractive date. Should I defat, skim, try ultrafiltration lactose reduction?"

'Skim milk.'

'That's it now, Mrs. Baines - see you in the New Year!'

Milk

"Wait. Let it breathe."

"Bob! Bob! A new milk bar has opened in town. They sell cow, goat, sheep, camel, buffalo and yak milk!"

"It's not for me, it's for Santa..."

"Hang on a minute, it's now mid-January: why do you still need milk for Santa?!"

"This is a clear violation of our civil rights."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

Counting ribs

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

Any time is cake o'clock

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Ice Cream Surgeon

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

What the Doctor Ordered