Military Recruitment Officer T-Shirts

"They send you to all the places refugees are escaping from."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

Neo-International Law

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

"Postwar is hell."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

Military Medals

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

A very young man being hired as a groom.

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

"The first one is for graduating from basic training. The rest are classified."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

"Suppose you tell me why you want to be a faceless drone at Globatron Inc.?"

Happy Labour Day: While you enjoy that last long weekend of summer, remember...there are some folks who aren't taking the weekend off.

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

UNFADED GLORY

Lost around a military base.

Moustached gentleman

"Who's next?"

'Wouldn't it be cheaper to apologise to the Middle East?'

"I'll put your application on file, Mr. Brandt, but I'm quite happy with my current paperweight."