Army Recruiter T-Shirts

"This looked cooler in the commercials."

'Keep working on those recruitment slogans.'

'I remember when it used to be 'serve your country.''

'You can't join the army, you're only an infant.'

'Don't ask! Don't tell! Don't bugger your fellow GI!'

'Nope. Christy broke up with me.'

Army Recruitment: 'Right Son, kick once if you want signals and twice if you want to go in the infantry.'

'We have three who want to serve as their patriotic duty...14 who want nose jobs and 32 who want implants.'

I'd like to join up.

Army School Recruitment - 'I got shot.'

School Notice Board - Carry a Gun! Don't Carry a Gun!

'If we put this in the drinking water, ever sink state resident in Britain will feel the uncontrollable urge to travel to Afghanistan and defeat the Taliban.'

'Sorry son, you can't join: You're flat-footed...'

"I think we should stop talking about out target demographic."

"In the mid 60s I received both my draft card and a Valentine's Day card on February 14th. Being a conscientious objector to both love and war, I burned both cards."

"Your resume is impressive."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Outer Space Outsourcing

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."