Military Recruiter Pillows

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

"So what attracted you to us?"

Join the army: 'I'd love to - but I don't want to blow my chances for a Nobel Peace Prize.'

US Military Recruitment: Now Training - Drone Airstrike Operators

"Your resume is impressive."

"We need a new image..."

"It's a great extra recruiting tool. Those who know they can't live up to that quickly disappear."

Military Recruiters...Please help the George Bush legacy. Enlist today!

'I think we should stop talking about our target demographic.'

'A word of advice, Kowalski. Avoid using the term 'cannon-fodder.'

'What'll it be . . . too large or too small?'

'The Army Recruitment team gave him a white feather for not signing up.'

It's hard to commit to the army when they remember the dead and forget the living.

"And why exactly do you want to join the army?"

Would Obama let his son go to war?

"No, you can't write your own vows!"

'When do I get to see Paris Hilton like the recruiter promised.'

'And what makes you think the Guards would want YOU, laddie?'

"Atheist are hard to recruit! They hate foxholes!"

It's so tough to sign up new military recruits. We''ve fought an unpopular war. The pay ain't great. And I'm no good. Why does everyone hate me? All I've got is the pathetic guilt trip. I'll join.

Adult Crime, Not Adult Logic

Fattening Up Toward Peace

Government a la Carte

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Outer Space Outsourcing

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."