Military Intelligence Analyst Gifts

Secrecy from within the Pentagon

The Anti-Agent

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

"National security adviser"

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

That's What Happens

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

Intolerable

'More government surveillance!'

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

"That's hardly necessary!"

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

Defence Cutbacks.

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

Legalish

How the US Succeeded in Afghanistan

"It's the kind of missile system that says, 'Hey, these peace negotiations aren't really going very well.'"

Invade/Fail/Deny

'Who said the Germans don't have a sense of humour? Just look at that card Hans Greber and we have haven't been shot at all day.'

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

The Thinker

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

Arms race - USA and Russia.

Government Intelligence

The EP-21 spy plane.

'This is just a test. I repeat, this is just a test. But then - maybe not!'

Top Secret - Destroy before reading.

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

Oooops!