Espionage Analyst Gifts

CIA Case Manager. I don't think he thought it was very funny when he sent you on an undercover assignment and you call "Going on a sneaking tour."

"We might have declared the cold war over too soon."

Read Any Good Lips Lately?

The Anti-Agent

"Bond James, Bond."

Barks in code.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

"National security adviser"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"That's hardly necessary!"

A Little Extra

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

'More government surveillance!'

"I started my career as an industrial spy-here."

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

"Ok, I found a secure line."

Do you have a phone with recording capabilities? I want to be able to carry a wire when I meet with my boss.

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

'Wouldn't it be cheaper to apologise to the Middle East?'

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.