Military Fashionista Pillows

' Wow ! You look dressed to kill ! '

British Grenadier

Women in the army.

'Is it tank top season already, General?'

Grenadiers

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

'Every war game scenario I've run has you picking up the check.'

Men talking about the boots of the period

Ex-soldier carrying a tank home.

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

'Let me guess - You want to be a helicopter pilot?'

"Old Mrs. Cranshaw is next, Doctor. Better put on your white jacket."

"Ever get the feeling you're in the wrong army?"

"A duck call won't grab the attention of a modern duck. You need to draw them in with Snapchat."

"It's a smaller, less destructive nuclear weapon, but it's also a hat."

"I'm looking for something that won't say anything about me."

Billards.

'General, I'm prescribing joint military exercises - yoga.'

'This one's a hood ornament. I got it for carpooling.'

"I can't heeear you!"

This Spring's Girl will be a warrior type, a survivor.

'Field Marshall chairman, if you don't mind.'

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

'I can't understand why no one came to our housewarming.'

'The sport's still a mystery to me. I just found out that I look great in uniform.'

'Tell Tale' - The Drawbacks of Over-Tight Ponytails

"You may think you look cool, but can you actually breathe properly with that stupid cap on?"

Relies on Radar

'Welcome to boot camp. You'll be staying in hut two-three-four.'

"I like to wear women's uniforms."

"How weird is it?"

Think tank: 'I think therefore I blow stuff up!'

Nigel was well pleased with his new tank-top...

"Sir, we are asking for $579 billion and 37 cents. How can you say our requests are too vague?"