Military Deployment Gifts

"Ya know, dad...I get to pretend I'm a superhero because of real heroes like you."

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

War and Death.

US Soldiers Lost in Kabul Airport Attack

"I bet you miss your brother."

'After your recent antics Harry, we thought it was best you go with the Commandos!'

How the ducks in Iraq go lame: 'I hope they don't ship me to Walter Reed.'

"It is a violation of air national guard policy for you to possess an AK-47 from Iraq, boy!! Do you want to suffer the consequences of bringing back a souvenir?!!"

"Bad news Darling, I'm going to be posted abroad"

'At least I've got two weeks leave in Peckham to look forward to.'

"Are you sure these are regulation? It's for a lieutenant stationed at 90 Church Street."

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

"Worst case of projectile dysfunction I've ever seen!"

"How long has your brother been in Iraq, Nora?"

Christmas Eve during the Civil War

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

Servicemen.

"Postwar is hell."

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Military Medals

God's Subcontractors

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

Trump

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

Monuments

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"Weather like this plagued my retreat from Moscow."

'I was in the catering corps.'

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

'At ease, soldier.'