Milestone Memories Pillows

'Look, he's taking his first steps.'

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"One year closer to college!"

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

Pilot with champagne.

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Gary turns 40.

Pearly King and Queen

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Careful."

Do you think I'm sixty?

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Babies first words are 'Take me to your leader'

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'Gentlemen, a toast to our 4th fishing trip this year. Perhaps, one day, we'll remember to bring poles, in addition to beer.'

Attic of hopes and dreams...

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

Aging Problems

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"Just when I thought I had all the answers, I forgot what the questions were."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"It seemed a given that my bucket-list should include an actual bucket."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."