Milestone Birthday (e.g. 60th, 70th) Pillows

"Would you want to drink from a fountain of youth?" "I'd settle for a fountain of middle age."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"One year closer to college!"

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

Gary turns 40.

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Pearly King and Queen

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"Careful."

One!

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Do you think I'm sixty?

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

'Gentlemen, a toast to our 4th fishing trip this year. Perhaps, one day, we'll remember to bring poles, in addition to beer.'

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."

Aging Problems

Ogden Nash: 'Middle age is when you've met so many people, that every new person reminds you of someone else.'

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

Attic of hopes and dreams...