Miles Davis Fan Gifts

"She checked her boyfriend's internet history and found he'd been downloading jazz."

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

'Secondhand smoke.'

Through the Looking Glass - King Demands a Ham Sandwich

"In this department, words mean just what I choose them to mean."

"'Moby-Dick'? Again?"

Our Summer Without Dave

Philip Kindred Dick

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

"Although the collection plate appears to be half full, our accountant assures me that it is half empty."

"No sir, we do not have beer here."

Meat Loaf

"I'm sorry about your divorce, but you can't nest in the storeroom."

Billie Eilish

'Oh, Freud is too darn hard to read -- I switched to Dr. Phil years ago.'

'I thought you said he was housetrained!'

'Stan, wait!... Wrong game!'

'If business doesn't pick up - we won't have a leg to stand on!'

Through the Looking Glass - Alice Clears the Dinner Table

"It ran amok."

Aurora Borealis in Wonderland.

"The seventh-inning triangle pose..."

"Can you explain to me again how you keep sustaining this eye injury in an orchestra?"

"You said it was OK to make our office more like home. Well, this is how I live at home."

Alice in Wonderland - Vain Lobster

"Well, after an 18 hour delay what alternative is there?"

The Flying Timeshare,,,starting at only 3000 miles: 'Ask me,'

Kobe Bryant

Big Hat Designed to Protect Pipe from Rain

'That's enough idol chit-chat from you two.'

I don't mind giving Fido a bath. It's cleaning up afterwards that kills me!

'How will we know we've reached the land where the bong-trees grow - we've never seen a bong-tree!'