Mileage Counter Pillows

Only 5000 miles on the clock!

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

Air travel isn't what it used to be.

"I don't know what's so funny. All I asked was whether this was their only flight today."

'My mentor and role model was a frequent flyer.'

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

"Howard may have a few miles on him, but I'm not ready for a trade-in just yet."

"It's this marvelous little liberal-arts college in Kansas that gives frequent-flier miles."

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

"Sure, you're in, but it's not really heavenly until you upgrade to premium Heaven."

"Use the platinum card—I need the miles."

"You have one billion frequent flyer miles. No wonder you list our airport as your business address."

'Here's your problem - you need more air in your tires for better gas mileage...'

No Surcharge For Luggage, All Of Which Is Mailed On Tuesdays.

"And to all of you who swore you'd never fly this airline again - welcome back."

"Book me, seat me, treat me bad."

"I suppose he only works one day a year but just think of the air miles he collects..."

Air miles rewards.

Driver Showdown

Road, Sky, Land, Radio, You - Next 300 Miles

'Only 5000 miles on the clock.'

Skydivers recording their air miles.

"You nomads sure deduct a lot of mileage.''

'This was only driven back and forth in the driveway by an obsessive compulsive.'

Excess Baggage: These days airport frequent flyer lounges are even more crowded than the general boarding areas.

The Flying Timeshare,,,starting at only 3000 miles: 'Ask me,'

"I notice you've started accumulating miles on different airlines from me."

Driver with Road Toll meter in car yelling 'How many more miles is it??!'

'Am I allowed to sit down if I'm on standby?'