Mileage Counter Prints

Only 5000 miles on the clock!

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

Air travel isn't what it used to be.

The young Michael Phelps: 'Just another four laps and I'll get out!'

"I don't know what's so funny. All I asked was whether this was their only flight today."

Fiji. London. Africa. Travel co. They say you can't take it with you --- but you can't go anywhere without it either.

'My mentor and role model was a frequent flyer.'

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

"Howard may have a few miles on him, but I'm not ready for a trade-in just yet."

"It's this marvelous little liberal-arts college in Kansas that gives frequent-flier miles."

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

"Sure, you're in, but it's not really heavenly until you upgrade to premium Heaven."

"Use the platinum card—I need the miles."

"You have one billion frequent flyer miles. No wonder you list our airport as your business address."

No Surcharge For Luggage, All Of Which Is Mailed On Tuesdays.

'Here's your problem - you need more air in your tires for better gas mileage...'

"And to all of you who swore you'd never fly this airline again - welcome back."

Air miles rewards.

I thought "E" meant enough.

Driver Showdown

Skydivers recording their air miles.

"I suppose he only works one day a year but just think of the air miles he collects..."

'Only 5000 miles on the clock.'

Road, Sky, Land, Radio, You - Next 300 Miles

"You nomads sure deduct a lot of mileage.''

"Book me, seat me, treat me bad."

'This was only driven back and forth in the driveway by an obsessive compulsive.'

The Flying Timeshare,,,starting at only 3000 miles: 'Ask me,'

Excess Baggage: These days airport frequent flyer lounges are even more crowded than the general boarding areas.

"I notice you've started accumulating miles on different airlines from me."

Driver with Road Toll meter in car yelling 'How many more miles is it??!'

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."