Mileage Hunter Pillows

"Use the platinum card—I need the miles."

"Looks like we found the issue."

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

Air travel isn't what it used to be.

"I don't know what's so funny. All I asked was whether this was their only flight today."

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

'And how many frequent flyer miles do you have?'

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

"Howard may have a few miles on him, but I'm not ready for a trade-in just yet."

"It's this marvelous little liberal-arts college in Kansas that gives frequent-flier miles."

'Your honor, my client requests the maximum bail possible so that he can post it with his frequent-flier credit card.'

"Do you have a seat in business with a view of economy?"

"You have one billion frequent flyer miles. No wonder you list our airport as your business address."

'We're curious as to why you claimed double the amount of miles you slithered for business purposes over the last two tax years?'

No Surcharge For Luggage, All Of Which Is Mailed On Tuesdays.

'Here's your problem - you need more air in your tires for better gas mileage...'

"And to all of you who swore you'd never fly this airline again - welcome back."

'Only 5000 miles on the clock.'

"Book me, seat me, treat me bad."

Air miles rewards.

"You nomads sure deduct a lot of mileage.''

Skydivers recording their air miles.

Driver Showdown

Only 5000 miles on the clock!

Road, Sky, Land, Radio, You - Next 300 Miles

"O.K. just one more item. Who gets the frequent-flier miles?"

'This was only driven back and forth in the driveway by an obsessive compulsive.'

"Well, after an 18 hour delay what alternative is there?"

Excess Baggage: These days airport frequent flyer lounges are even more crowded than the general boarding areas.

The Flying Timeshare,,,starting at only 3000 miles: 'Ask me,'