Midwestern Manners T-Shirts

"That's Ben. He's utterly ruthless and calculation, but in a nice, midwestern sort of way."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"The Taco is good on the trail but where do I put the drink?"

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

"The last doggy bag."

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

"Neat Nick!": Tidiest cowboy in the west

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

'Don't chew your food.'

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

"Oh no! Didn't you bring your phone?"

"Grace and polish, all bundled up together in one man?"

' Hey...he's not eating like a pig.'

"Do you have any appetizers that are just fun to play with?"

'The frogs legs kicked the peas off the plate.'

"Gesundheit!"

I don't care who you are - if you didn't reserve the round table. I'll have to seat you in a booth.

'We may be spoiling him but you'll have to admit it's cute.'

Mom! Billy's censoring me!

'I see you had egg for breakfast.' - 'Yesterday morning.'

'Do you think FOR ONCE you can chew with your mouth OPEN!'

'Quick, table two have both for their mouths full, ask them how their meal is.'

'Carlton! How many times have we told you not to scarf your food!?'

"Mum says I've got to thank you if you gave me anything."

"You've got a bit of brain on the side of your mouth."

When Barry decided to start a campaign for gum control.

"You're the only one in here who had to ask for a knife and fork."

"Gloves off at the table please!" "They're not gloves, they're dirt!"

"And remember, the phone goes to the left of the entree fork."

'No! To the left, the left!'