Gentlemanly Manners Aficionado T-Shirts

"Grace and polish, all bundled up together in one man?"

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

"The last doggy bag."

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

"He's such a gentleman, he didn't use a 'mating call' to attract me: he's developed a 'please join me on a date' call..."

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."

I don't care who you are - if you didn't reserve the round table. I'll have to seat you in a booth.

"Do you have any appetizers that are just fun to play with?"

'Carlton! How many times have we told you not to scarf your food!?'

"You've got a bit of brain on the side of your mouth."

"You're the only one in here who had to ask for a knife and fork."

"And remember, the phone goes to the left of the entree fork."

'Just because you happen to turn into a wolf during a full moon, dear, doesn't mean you have to act like one!'

Victorian Gentleman

How to eat while reading.

"Coordinates 135 and 350."

'On The Face Of It.'

The Invisible Man...Meets a Lady.

"Both Ears This Way, thank you."

A Bad Time for John Thomas.

A man doffs his head in passing.

"Anderson, Anderson and Andersons - Stephens speaking."

Hunting Party in the Highlands.

Canadian Standoff

'It was a complete surprise when the table-setting police arrived. I had no idea I was doing it wrong.'

Taekwon DOHHEAD: 'Grrrrr!'

"This seat is reserved for the rest of my legs."

'Wall hugging won't get you past me without a 'Good morning', Carson.'

'Stay for dinner? Are you sure? - We don't want to wear out our welcome.'

Etiquette and the mobile phone - "Oh hi. I'm on a training course."

'I've kept all my wildest hopes and dreams realistic and easy to achieve.'