Gentlemanly Manners Aficionado T-Shirts

"Grace and polish, all bundled up together in one man?"

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

"The last doggy bag."

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

"He's such a gentleman, he didn't use a 'mating call' to attract me: he's developed a 'please join me on a date' call..."

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."

'Carlton! How many times have we told you not to scarf your food!?'

"Do you have any appetizers that are just fun to play with?"

"You're the only one in here who had to ask for a knife and fork."

"You've got a bit of brain on the side of your mouth."

"And remember, the phone goes to the left of the entree fork."

'Just because you happen to turn into a wolf during a full moon, dear, doesn't mean you have to act like one!'

How to eat while reading.

A Bad Time for John Thomas.

'On The Face Of It.'

Hunting Party in the Highlands.

"Both Ears This Way, thank you."

"Anderson, Anderson and Andersons - Stephens speaking."

"Coordinates 135 and 350."

A man doffs his head in passing.

Victorian Gentleman

'It was a complete surprise when the table-setting police arrived. I had no idea I was doing it wrong.'

Canadian Standoff

'Stay for dinner? Are you sure? - We don't want to wear out our welcome.'

'Wall hugging won't get you past me without a 'Good morning', Carson.'

Taekwon DOHHEAD: 'Grrrrr!'

"This seat is reserved for the rest of my legs."

Etiquette and the mobile phone - "Oh hi. I'm on a training course."

"Sit properly in your chair!"

'Hey, hey, hey - feet off the table.'