Midnight Marauder Gifts

Graveyard Shifts

'If I'm not home by midnight, my wife turns on the electric fence.'

Late night teddy reading

"Can Olaf come out to pillage and plunder?"

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

Remote Control Pirate Ship.

"You go pillage. I can loot from here."

"I think the milk's off!"

I'm turning to the 'Duck' side!

Mars Rover's wheels stolen.

People Who Talk To Elvis...

I do all of my banking online now.

"Not a word, Doc! I'm having hot flashes!"

"Adverbs, adjectives, conjunctions, clauses...I'll never learn to speak English!"

Manuscripts.

'I'm from the exterminators, here to kill moths...Those devils, it's worse than I thought.'

'While you were attempting to seize the day, our competition seized a big chunk of our business!'

Full moon brings out werewolf in prison cell

'It is a little-known fact that all our energy problems would be solved if kids weren't such total wimps.'

"For crying out loud, what's all that racket down there? Are those kids raiding the kitchen again?"

"Some of the guys are worried about your commitment to the whole marauding barbarian thing."

"I put a wet paint sign on our bench at the mall so we'll have a place to sit."

The Commandos go shopping

'What are you trying to do...blow our cover?!! Take off that mask!'

'You make a HELLUVA bowl of chili, Donna!!'

'I did go to the bathroom, but since I was up anyway, I decided to drop in over here.'

'I'd be more excited about you finding your ball if it wasn't three o'clock in the morning.'

"I know you people are a bunch of incurable optimists, but I think this financial report is the cure for that."

'Bugs ain't nothin', kid - just wait till you swallow a BUZZARD!'

'Our guest has asked that we obscure his identity.'

'Wait a minute - isn't it a bad sign when the 'fasten seatbelts' sign is flashing?'

I suppose you're wondering why I summoned you to the café at midnight, minion. Not really. They're keeping the voting machines in a warehouse on the outskirts of town. I'm not telling you to break in … and I'm not telling you to make it look like anti-Trump Communist illegal immigrants from China and Mexico rigged the machines on behalf of ISIS to elect Hillary Clinton. Does this have anything to do with all those "Trump was robbed" cupcakes you had me order? I'm not telling you that.

"I don’t get it - we had all those meetings."

2 A.M. on a Moonless Night

Sleep walking.