Midlife Pondering Aficionado T-Shirts

Middle-aged zombie. Wait - why did I come up here?

ZZZZZZZ Top

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

Diego Velasquez

Ed's receding hairline!

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

Midlife: You Are Here.

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

Phil at Fifty: Still Trying to Find Himself

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

I spent my whole career studying the effects of cloning on aging. What did you find? Same old, same old. Plainwell Brew.

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

Parkour for the over-40s.

He comes by sometimes to tell me he quit my job, bought a convertible and is going to open a brewpub. Midlife crisis actor.

A Classicist Considers Taking Up The Mambo

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!