Midlife Musing Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"Mommy! Daddy! Wake up! You only have thirty or forty years left to live!"

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Remember that, honey? Serious testosterone."

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

Phil at Fifty: Still Trying to Find Himself

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

A Classicist Considers Taking Up The Mambo

Parkour for the over-40s.

He comes by sometimes to tell me he quit my job, bought a convertible and is going to open a brewpub. Midlife crisis actor.

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

A sign hangs from the front of the Sunnyvale Nudist Camp - 'Join Today - 100% Off!'

Stuff nervous little dogs yap about.

'Why couldn't your father have a normal midlife crisis, buy a convertible, or even have an affair with some young bimbo?'

'FYI, Stevens, nobody likes a middle-aged slacker.'

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

'My husband is one of those born again bikers.'

Fortune teller sits beneath a sign 'Wrinkles Read Here'

"I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. I told them to pipe down."