Midlife Musing Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"Mommy! Daddy! Wake up! You only have thirty or forty years left to live!"

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"Remember that, honey? Serious testosterone."

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

Midlife: You Are Here.

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

Phil at Fifty: Still Trying to Find Himself

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

A Classicist Considers Taking Up The Mambo

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

A sign hangs from the front of the Sunnyvale Nudist Camp - 'Join Today - 100% Off!'

'FYI, Stevens, nobody likes a middle-aged slacker.'

'Why couldn't your father have a normal midlife crisis, buy a convertible, or even have an affair with some young bimbo?'

'My husband is one of those born again bikers.'

Stuff nervous little dogs yap about.

Fortune teller sits beneath a sign 'Wrinkles Read Here'

"I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. I told them to pipe down."

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

"What do you want to be when you give up?"