Midlife Partygoer Pillows

"The club scene is really changing."

The devil you know and his plus one

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

Rock and Roll

Space hopper as a bouncer of a nightclub

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

Tragedy and Remedy.

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

'But my mom says that 40 is the new 30.'

"He goes to a real party preschool."

Fables for the Middle-Aged: Goldilocks and the 3 Hairs.

Men-O-Pause Emergency Kit, contents include an inflatable trophy wife, bottle of Boca-Raw-Tan and a convincing hairpiece

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

'She's not 'pushing 40' - she's 'dragging' it!'

'I suppose they call it 'Middle age' because that is where you age shows...'

"I'm excited to leave this party we're going to."

"Honestly, won't you miss us?"

"Do you think they can tell we're from the future?"

"I haven't read it yet, but I've downloaded it from the Internet."

This party better be good. I even had to wash my face!

"I never know what to do with my hands at a party"

'What was I like 20 years ago? I was younger, thinner, better looking, sexier. . . and poorer.'

In the Conversation Pit of Hell.

Middle Age: When you still believe you'll feel better in the morning!

'...46 and still have Principles...'

"Since we don't do payback dinners, how does eighty bucks sound for the reasonably decent evening I think we've all had?"