Midlife Contemplation Pillows

"I realize that each day is a gift. Now it's just a matter of figuring out how to exchange fourteen thousand six hundred of them."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"You used to be that ambitious."

'Where Are They Now?'

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

Midlife: You Are Here.

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Realizing that his youth was now behind him, Mr. Twigly left home at the sight of his first gray hare.

'Sometimes I think about getting away from all this and get a job as a cab driver in New York city...'

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.

Phil at Fifty: Still Trying to Find Himself

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

"My salad days have all turned to coleslaw..."

'Once they start to sag, then I'll have to learn professional, technical and networking skills.'

'Since we've been married thirty years, Lester, I think it's time to face up to the fact that we've been seeing too much of each other.'

"Yesterday I got in touch with a childhood friend!"

"It started with a few grey hares in my 20's and they kept showing up."